Romanian Film “De capul nostru” at the Berlinale: When Children Raise Themselves

“Could you please choke me? … Just for fun.” The teenagers Flavia and Luca sit close together in a room. It is afternoon and in the apartment it seems that no one else is there. The boy doesn’t quite understand the joke, yet he — very cautiously — fulfills the girl’s desire and presses his hands on her throat. The mood, which at the beginning between the two was more playful, changes in an instant.

Luca does not find it funny; he jumps up and wants nothing from Flavia for the moment. The 14-year-old calls after him that she doesn’t want to start anything serious with him right now.

With “De capul nostru,” Romanian for “on our own,” the director Tudor Cristian Jurgiu has found a fluid and personal visual language to draw attention to the topic of the “parentless” youths in his country. About 150,000 children in Romania live on their own, as their parents leave abroad for months, sometimes years, effectively emigrating to work mainly as caregivers for other families or in construction.

This is also the case with Flavia and Luca (naturally and convincingly played by Denisa Vraja and Vlad Furtună), whose parents live in Italy to earn money there. Their return home is unclear and kept being postponed. Flavia responds to the situation with sarcasm and cheek. A highlight is an urgent “family meeting” with their parents — via video call. The screens stand between the feelings, at any moment one could click away from the other and walk off.

Unpredictability of Events

The youths live in a kind of parallel world, where they try to enact their own version of the family and to be left alone by the older generation, which mostly succeeds. The film’s scenes follow one another abruptly, seemingly without a plan, as abrupt as in life itself. This does not make it easy for the viewer at first, but if you lean into it, the unpredictability of events becomes gripping.

Luca hears from his parents little else, unlike Flavia. When his little sister Tina (confident and lively: Mara Diaconu Ducica) gets too wild at school and beats up other children, the brother takes on the paternal role at the parents’ meeting.

It is not clear whether he is aware of the seriousness of the situation, or whether he is pulling the adults’ leg, when he states with a numb, expressionless face that he has already tried everything with his rebellious sister, including violence — of course.

The adults respond with speechlessness, but show little further interest, which seems to be Lucas’s goal.

The group of teenagers moves at their own pace and builds their own world. The film does the same. One simultaneously senses a feeling of freedom and danger. Two younger children — the siblings Lia and Dudu — suddenly appear at Luca’s and the little Tina’s side. They have run away from home and do not yet know exactly where to go. For a short time, it is possible to create a “children’s family” in which Luca and Flavia must quickly become adults.

The experiment will burn out soon, just as the contents of the parents’ package with gifts and goodies from Italy, which the children destroy in a casual fire ritual.