G Golf is generally regarded as a leisurely sport. Many kilometers wander (with purpose), pause at the ball (concentration, contemplation), then a short dynamic explosion (hit) – and move on. The round of 18 holes with nine to ten kilometers of walking takes about three hours for a single player.
In fours, it can also stretch to five and a half hours if you take a tournament particularly seriously and have to wait often, because the group ahead is playing especially slowly and deliberately.
Speedgolf is different. There, as few strokes as possible are counted in as short a time as possible. Stroke rate and minutes are added together. The best complete the round in less than an hour and fewer than 70 strokes. The world record by Christopher Smith from Chicago has stood since 2005 at 45 minutes of golf sprint and a total of 65 strokes, i.e., a combined score of 110.
There are already championships, usually over two rounds with prize money up to $50,000. Golf broadcasters televise. The lowest score was achieved in 2016 by Australian Mitch Williamson at Yarra Bend Golf Club in Melbourne during the Australian Speedgolf Open. 77 strokes in a mind-boggling 31 minutes, for a total of 108 instead of 110 as Smith did in 2005. However, the result does not count as a Guinness World Record because there were no inspectors on site.
Record with Bananas and Alphabet Soup
Scores under 100 have been documented from time to time. For that, the course must be unusually short and chosen specifically for ultra-fast Speedgolf rounds. For a record attempt, it is important that a commercially available course of at least 5,500 meters total length has as short paths from hole to hole as possible. That can shorten the overall distance by a kilometer or two.
That was also an important criterion in 2021 for the 44-year-old Swiss Jürg Randegger. He chose a very flat course in his home Niederbüren because of the “very short distances Green to Tee” and gave himself 12 hours to hole out 250 times.
What he achieved, with only an iron 7 in his hands, in sometimes pouring rain: 14 rounds, 252 holes in 11 hours and 22 minutes, a world record. The stroke rate did not matter for the record; it stood at 1,348. Randegger fortified himself with bananas and, for whatever reason, with alphabet soup, as he recounted. The verdict afterwards: “Everything hurts.”
The author of these lines has tried Speedgolf on his hilly home course once himself, many years ago, when it seemed cardiologically tolerable. On a late summer evening, it had to be established beforehand that no normal walking golfers were out there who would slow him down. Then start: a jog over 9 holes with 3 clubs in hand (7-iron, sand wedge, putter). Result: as hoped, just under 100 (47 minutes, 51 strokes).
Just Do It, Like Table Tennis
The astonishing athletic insight: stand up, swing, and move on; it works just as well as the often cumbersome fuss of almost all golfers otherwise. No more pre-shot routine, thinking through it all again, aligning, visualizing, practice swing, and perhaps one more. Just do it, quick, quick, like table tennis, where there is no time to think. It would also significantly shorten all rounds.
Speedgolf would also suit the world’s best golfer Donald Trump, who is known to stitch his results together with imaginative flair. So speedgolf, Mr. President, but full throttle! Dash, wheeze, strike, go on, without a pause. The world record for over-75 awaits! And then perhaps: R.I.P. A fitting end, on the course, as the ball still dances gracefully onto the green.
In New Zealand, at the Rangitikei Golf Club in Bulls, I once discovered a memorial stone right in the middle of the fairway for an apparently deceased honorable member (“did his last shot here”). What a sweet ending for a golfer, what an honor. For Trump, the stone would be appropriate to gild with gold leaf.
